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Notes In Observance – Impact Wrestling 3/9/17: Make Impact Great

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.

By Nicholas Jason Lopez

 

“Notes In Observance” features random thoughts and analysis on television shows. Quick results can be found at the bottom of the post. 

 

 

 

 

 

(Aired 3/9/17)

Make Impact Great 

– The opening video began with a look back at the various moments of the company now formerly known as Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA). As you’d imagine, there were shots of AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett. Given Styles and Joe made their names here, but have gone on to bigger places. Cough, cough. Anyways, more highlights included Monty Brown’s infamous cage tightroped huracanrana at Turning Point 2004, random shots of tope con hilos to push the “no limits” X-Division and soundbites from Don West because it just doesn’t count without him. They also showed Kurt Angle’s headbutt to Samoa Joe in their hot feud from 2006-2007. Ironically, it’s almost 15 years to the month when TNA emerged on the scene. The basis of the video stated that change was inevitable and we’d have to live with it. There was a flashy new opening montage/theme that was eh. We guess this will be more like Anthem’s “Impact” than anything we’ve previously seen.

– We began with a brawl between newfound enemies in Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards, located by the crowd. Never a bad way to start a show with a “new” feel. For all the brotherly emotion the feud is supposed to emit, the brawl itself could’ve been orchestrated to feel more “heartfelt.” We’ll give Richards credit for a killer angry face. Edwards one-upped him seemingly with a cross body off the barricade itself. Officials eventually separated them and that was that. Meh. Oh wait – back on again. Or not. The camera panned on an extra headset on the announce table. “This is not SmackDown where they have 47 announcers,” said Josh Mathews. Funny. It turned out Jeremy Borash would be the new man, apparently unwelcome by Mathews. Didn’t they do commentary together those times when The Pope was absent without problems? Sigh. JB did a “shoot promo” where he soured on that legendary Mike Tenay’s 12 year tenure was replaced by a “Ken Doll with no balls.” New company, but same regime. Feud your announcers. That’s good television. Ironically, the ring has not been used once so far and we’re 15 minutes into the show. Pope was also silent at a time when we could’ve actually used his voice. This heel Mathews seemed like a complete 180 from the Mathews we had when we enjoyed Impact last year. Cody emerged onto the scene, which Mathews slipped his “Rhodes” name out. Cody tossed his Global Force Wrestling NextGen belt into the ring and declared an open challenge to Impact Grand Champion Moose. JB hyped the appearance of a brand new tag team shortly. The lights went out and The DCC’s music hit. Is it them? They’re not that new. Or brand for that matter. Moose was also apparently in Japan with Pro Wrestling NOAH.

– Reno Scum’s music hit and we recognized one member immediately as West Coast Wrestling Connection’s Adam Thornstowe. JB also dropped knowledge that they were also in Future Stars Of Wrestling. We definitely need new blood here. It was RS against the trusty team of Bram/Kingston, as James Storm observed from outside. Mathews obnoxiously referred to the other RS member as “Mosh.” JB’s new thing was now to insult Mathews for his lack of a “smartened up” status. Oh dear. They then insulted each other’s suits. We found out the other dude was named Luster and we think they referred to Thornstowe as A.D.A.M., which will surely be a headache to constantly write out. Adam (look at our rebellious behavior and such) hit a Scum Stomp (as the move is called in WCWC) from the top rope as Luster held down the opponent. Forgettable victory to say the least. Post-match, DCC argued amongst themselves. Breakup angle? Or not. For whatever reason, they decided to replay the last two minutes of the match immediately after it aired.

– Backstage, RS gave more insight into who they are, which is apparently “15 years of blood, sweat and tears.” Violence and athleticism was their motto. Awfully generic for a team that looks like the second arrival of Ink Inc.

– Backstage, Sienna mentioned that Maria had a nervous breakdown from the aftermath of the wedding segment, which actually wasn’t that bad after all. Sienna dismissed the interviewer with “La la la, fake news.” She sent a message to Allie that she didn’t get rid of her yet and had hell to pay. That was more personality than we’ve seen in ever from her. More of that please.

– Caleb Konley came out for an X-Division match. His opponent was Marshe Rockett. That’s a different bout than usual. Oh, here’s the JB-Mathews argument party again. It’s quite old already. More of an eye-roll than anything else. Oh, here’s DJZ, their other opponent. We guess this is a tag match? Next out was Braxton Sutter with Allie. Is this a Four-Way or a tag? We’re so confused. This was a Four-Way. Okay. Now that we’re past that, DJZ broke out his tope con hilo as per usual. Konley did a suicide dive of his own. DJZ leaped off Rockett’s back to hit a ZDT on Konley. Allie did a cross body off the top rope on Rockett. That was cool. Sutter executed his finisher to get the win as Allie/Sutter celebrated with a kiss. We like that. Out came Laurel Van Ness still in her wedding dress two weeks later as she paid homage to Ke$ha circa 2010 or something like that. Zombie Bride?

– We got a shot of the Broken Hardy household in Cameron, North Carolina. Normally, that’s a welcome sight to the show but with legal woes, we know that the Broken Universe is on borrowed time. Not to mention that the Hardys left the company on bad terms. They hyped the latest segment with a match between them and Smokin’ Joe Frazier. Also known as a kangaroo. Hmm. We wonder if this is slight mockery.

– We just realized now that Rockstar Spud really was the ring announcer. We thought that was a joke from Mathews. Apparently, they’ve also written off The Miracle with the “nervous breakdown” by Maria. Sad face. Sienna made her entrance to face Rachel Ellering. It was interesting that they made constant reference to World Wrestling Entertainment NXT’s Paul Ellering to get her over instead of you know, organically? JB tried to expel facts about her and was constantly interrupted by Mathews. That’s a disservice to the talent if anything. That was followed by awkward silence for a minute. Maybe they were edited here? Ellering performed a nice springboard spinning leg drop. Sienna then followed with the Silencer for the win while Mathews cried afoul.

– Bruce Prichard came out while Mathews cried some more. Oh god. He plugged his “Something To Wrestle With” podcast and then mentioned that the company he once knew wasn’t the one that was here. He referred to the days when “the boys had hope” and were “so close to greatness.” This is probably 2010-ish when they went head-to-head with WWE and failed. He officially declared TNA dead and pushed Impact Wrestling as the new name. He broke out an impressive Stone Cold Steve Austin impression and put over that he was there for other people’s rises to fame. That transitioned into an introduction for Impact Wrestling World Champion Lashley as “Walking Armageddon.” Lashley even mentioned his defense of President Donald Trump way back when. Suddenly, Alberto El Patron came out to a tame reaction with similar music to his WWE theme when the “Si!” chants erupted. We actually like the idea of him as the next challenger if that’s the way they want to go. Ethan Carter III came out next and challenged Lashley, which thankfully, was rejected because Lashley logically reminded him that he repeatedly defeated him. Patron plugged the idea of a Title match between them two and Prichard made it official. He has that authority? EC3 was left in the dark. Ouch. They shot to the announce table where JB was on a phone call from a “higher up” even though we saw his phone to his ear on the home screen. Fail city.

– Backstage, Edwards was confronted by Angelina Love, who took exception that he “stooped low” to deal with her husband. Let’s hope they don’t start to call Richards “the Lone Wolf.” Sigh. She slapped Edwards on his behalf, which prompted him to compliment her as he said she hit harder than her husband. That was more progression than the brawl to be honest.

– Cody came back out and questioned Moose’s whereabouts, despite that he knew he was oceans away. JB reminded him to his face and he tossed his belt in the ring. That was it for that. This felt misplaced in the show, would’ve made more sense to just cut this out and let the other segment fester. This didn’t do anything to further the storyline.

– They aired a “Make Impact Great” campaign video that had Lashley speak about his agenda of great competition and how it was to entertain the people and give them a show. This felt less kayfabe, but we weren’t crazy about that at this point. Lashley is cool as the lone badass. Don’t tarnish it already.

– Dutch Mantell came out with his “Make Impact Great” banner on his mobile scooter and acted like his old Zeb Colter character from WWE, which led to his promo that pushed his own history about how professional wrestling brought him to different places, but erroneously omitted Mex-America. Tsk, tsk. He followed the way of Prichard’s “Man, this place isn’t what it once was when it was on Spike TV, but we can get there again” promo, just this time, he used the people themselves as the main rally cry. This was complete with name drops of former talent with their likeness on the big screen to various reactions. What was funny to us was that it seemed like he dropped the Colter act, but he used the same lines (“Stand up and put your hands over your hearts”) and even led the crowd in a “We The People!” chant. Mixed messages here, but we liked the actual promo deliverance.

– Back to North Carolina and the Hardys personal zoo. Brother Nero and Matt had grapple sessions with Frazier, aka a kangaroo. We imagine this was all once snippets of what would’ve been their next storyline. Matt mentioned their next mission on the Expedition of Gold, which saw them transport, but then the shot switched to Decay, whom now held the Impact Wrestling World Tag Team Championships in the parking lot. We were now to believe that they “deleted” the Hardys in their own transportation universe. Not the worst write-off we ever heard, but damn, that’s a stretch, even for the Broken Universe. Guess that’s the end of the Broken Era, Let the tears commence.

– JB dropped news that the 15th Slammiversary would air on Pay-Per-View on Sunday, July 2. That’s swell.

– The main event for the Impact Wrestling World Championship between Patron and Champion Lashley had some alright action, nothing crazy. EC3 stood on stage as things progressed. Lashley struck the Referee by accident as Patron applied the Cross Armbreaker. A second official came in, as this was the first time all match it felt like Lashley was in jeopardy of  a loss. Lashley powered out of it and slammed Patron on his back. Lashley pulled the new official in the way of a Patron head kick. After a spinebuster, the Champ left the ring to get his belt and walked into the ring. He was kicked in the head, which Patron followed with a belt shot to the head of his own. He got the three count, which was silly that not two referees didn’t see or hear a thing. We were iffy on that occurrence. Instant classic our tushie. We’re supposed to like Patron because he won with the use of the belt? Anyways, Lashley argued with the referees and Prichard & Co. came down to investigate the “controversy.” Overall, mixed bag of a show with a new agenda, but the same overbooking and inconsistencies that caused the old TNA to lose fan interest to begin with.

 

 

 

 

 

Quick Results

  • Reno Scum def. Bram/Kingston (w/James Storm) via pinfall 
  • Four-Way – Braxton Sutter (w/Allie) def. Caleb Konley, DJZ and Marshe Rockett via pinfall 
  • Sienna def. Rachel Ellering via pinfall 
  • Impact Wrestling World Championship – Alberto El Patron def. Lashley (Champion) via pinfall to become new Champion 
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About Nicholas Jason Lopez

Just a 26 year-old Brooklynite. Nothing more, nothing less. Currently Freelancing for The Bensonhurst Bean website in Brooklyn, he has also been published on sites such as Review Fix, College University of New York Athletic Conference, Dying Scene, Brooklyn News Service, All Media NY, BrooklynFans.com and Yahoo Voices. He has also interned for The Home Reporter/Brooklyn Spectator based out of Brooklyn, NY.

Posted on March 3, 2018, in TNA/Impact Wrestling and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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