Notes In Observance – Southpaw Regional Wrestling 2/?/87: Lethal Preparation
By Nicholas Jason Lopez
“Notes In Observance” features random thoughts and analysis on recent television shows. Quick results can be found at the bottom of the post.
– Always eager to add new promotions to our ever-present lineup, PWO’s proud to announce beginning coverage of Southpaw Regional Wrestling – a renegade southern promotion that has truly come to recognition by now. SRW airs weekly on WMOB and is #12 in the television ratings. Look out, #11. You’ve got some stiff competition.
– Tex Ferguson, a rough biker with a knack for blue bandanas graced our screens to sit upon the front of his car and spoke about his “old hermano” Chad 2 Badd (C2B; a buddy he came into SRW with) and how C2B was jealous of his tights, new car hoods, basically everything. Good promo that stayed on topic and truly made us feel for this rivalry and its potential.
– One of SRW’s assets is its onscreen broadcast team of the always-professional Lance Catamaran and Chet Chetterfield. This was more on Catamaran’s side, who boasted legitimate newscaster experience, as he served six weeks on a news team for a local affiliate in Utica, New York. He’s got the face and attitude to perhaps lead professional wrestling for the next 30 years. Chetterfield was evidently hung over, glass in hand and could use some advice about how to properly conduct himself onscreen.
– On-Field Reporter Clint Bobski’s backstage interview with SRW Champion John Johnson hyped his appearance in the 12-Man Battle Royale at Lethal Leap Year on Feb. 29 where he’d defend the belt. Johnson sported a humbled personality, well-groomed mustache and a need to hold the microphone when he talks. That appeared to upset the lively Bobski (how about that blazer?), but they made the best of it. Johnson said he was ready for a fight. A true Champion indeed. The rest of the promo felt filler, as Bobski didn’t think Johnson “had what it takes.” Bobski’s opinion weighs heavy behind the scenes presumably since his Uncle owns the television station. However, we’re intrigued to see if Johnson can hold off 11 other guys at Lethal Leap Year. Gonna be one hell of a show. Even Chetterfield was excited for it, which was a task in of itself.
– C2B’s backstage promo advanced his feud with Ferguson, as he told us about how Ferguson used to tell him mean things and steal all his girls. Chad flaunted his Michael Hayes-esque looks with his beach blonde hair and (presumably) designer white shades. In a telling line, he said Ferguson had some “bad news” coming his way. Uh oh.
– Big props to SRW for pulling out the money to get a Ric Flair impersonator that sounded close to the real man. Maybe one day they can afford him. This is a big company that won’t be a secret much longer. The wrestling community’s literally ablaze in long-winded conversations about it. Time will tell.
– Impressive Pelvis Wesley has a talent to sell SRW shirts. Can he teach us karate some time?
– Big Bartholomew’s backstage promo revolved around his answer to The Banker’s challenge. Of course, BB struggled on the mic a bit as he fumbled his lines (and his opponent’s name), but he got back on track to push the point that it’s all about fighting for the farmers that defended their farms in the 1900’s. He also defended the chickens that they also eat. Not sure how that makes sense, but hopefully we hear from The Banker soon. What’s this challenge all about anyway?
– The Surf Dudes With Attitude hype video showcased the fun-loving thrill seekers soon to debut in SRW. Their dancing skills were also on point. With C2B and Ferguson at each other’s throats, the SRW Tag Team Division could easily be conquered.
– Mr. Mackelroy’s promo package gave us the latest twist in his feud with BB. He spoke from BB’s farm that he now apparently owned because BB knew “nothing about paperwork.” Leave it to The Banker to screw them on the property line. At least he gave BB the chance to win it back at the right price, but he already had callers for the farm. That’s not good for business. Mackelroy has the best mustache in the company and his evil laugh’s bar-none.
– We had the pleasure of the broadcast team being interrupted by IPW’s persistent struts as it was even split into three screens. You really got the feel that IPW could legit be the next rock and roll king. It even made Chetterfield choke up to the point where he disappeared from the next shot. Production values, folks.
– The La Barba Grande hype video introduced us to the mysterious, hairy masked man set to debut in the 12-Man Battle Royale at Lethal Leap Year. As if Johnson didn’t have enough to worry about. LBG could walk in on his first night and walk out SRW Champion. That’s crazy. The LBG character should feed some necessary variety to SRW’s roster though. His stair-running skills were also superbly captured there.
– Ferguson’s backstage promo furthered his feud with C2B some more, as he spoke about him. Apparently, C2B sent Bad News Allen to attack his eye, but the thing was that Ferguson was ready to fight because he had an eye patch. It now brings to light what C2B meant by “Bad News coming.” 14 minutes later, Ferguson spoke after Freddy Blassie bit out his other eye (a bit gruesome, surprised the network let them get away with that line), but again, he was resilient and ready for Lethal Leap Year. The way he held up his cane as he described what he’d do was key to making the promo work. We could practically sense the big boots and lariats to come.
– The BB/Christian Joy backstage promo had some drama thanks to Bobski’s logical input. The angle was to see if BB would sign Banker’s contract to confirm the challenge. We also saw CJ debut as BB’s “crazy” blonde-haired female cousin. Apparently they lived on the streets for a week, as Bobski added in. BB rambled for a little, but mentioned that he’d sign the contract “for all the southern countries.” Why BB/CJ advocated for USA when Banker also comes from USA baffled us a little, but Mackelroy’s stellar mic work should bring this feud right back to relevancy.
– Mackelroy’s beach promo dropped a bomb on their set battle for Lethal Leap Year. Mackelroy revealed the contract that BB signed would actually see him face The Sea Creature, not him. Gasp. Sure, Sea Creature’s a big oversized monster with goggly eyes, but we like the obstacle BB needs to climb to eventually get to The Banker. BB needs momentum more than anything if he’s going to get to the main event picture.
– We saw a final Lethal Leap Year push from the Ferguson/C2B backstage segment. Ferguson was in a sling as we heard about how C2B brought Greg Valentine into his trailer to put him in an armbar for two and a half hours. We got a surprise when we saw C2B jump into the shot, but Ferguson made like he interrupted the promo. Surprised they didn’t cut out the footage where Ferguson wanted “to reshoot the promo and up the production values to compete with Vince.” Guess a low budget will do that to you. They made the most of it though. C2B promised “it’d all end” at Lethal Leap Year as it took a few shots to show how Ferguson was affected by the attacks. He cried profusely, which actually came through in to the studio. Catamaran threw a fit and stormed off the set. We assume he was overcome with emotion.
– The fun appeared to come to an end when we learned near the end of the show by Catamaran that there was no leap year in 1987, thus all the television promotion put forth for a show on a day that doesn’t exist could be SRW’s unrecoverable financial dagger. Well, it was fun while it lasted. If Lethal Leap Year does end up happening, you can bet PWO will gladly cover it. We’re all simply saddened by SRW’s unfortunate events. Such promise there.
- Satire def. Legitimacy via submission
Posted on March 19, 2017, in Misc, WWE and tagged Big Bartholomew, Chad 2 Badd, Chet Chetterfield, Christian Joy, Clint Bobski, Impressive Pelvis Wesley, John Johnson, La Barba Grande, Lance Catamaran, Lethal Leap Year, Mr. Mackelroy, Ric Flair Impersonator, Southpaw Regional Wrestling, Tex Ferguson, The Banker, The Surf Dudes With Attitude. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.