Advertisements

Notes In Observance – TNA Impact Wrestling 12/15/16: Total Nonstop Deletion

TNA Impact WrestlingBy Nicholas Jason Lopez

 

“Notes In Observance” features random thoughts and analysis on recent television shows. Quick results can be found at the bottom of the post.

 

 

 

 

 

(Aired 12/15/16)

Total Nonstop Deletion 

– As with the other “Broken Universe”-themed episodes, we got the Senor Benjamin disclaimer not to perform the stunts. We also learned that no droids were harmed in the filming. Whew. How crazy is it that Broken Matt Hardy is this over where they can do a taping from the Hardy Compound? This almost never happened due to timing and legal tie-ups, but now it was real.

– The first cutscene “set the stage,” as Reby played the piano in an open field, Matt rode Scarsguard The Boat, Brother Nero carved designs with his weed whacker, Benjamin “prepared the battlefield for war” as he carried fireworks and fastened the turnbuckles and lastly, King Maxel walked around in the ring. Too cute. Yup, this would be an episode of epic proportions. We could feel it now.

– As if this wasn’t already good, we got a faux-news report (funny how Autocorrect put “Fox News” instead) from a Cameron, North Carolina ABC affiliate about the “Day of Deletion being upon them” with a mention of Tag Team Apocalypto. They cut to a reporter by a live volcano, who interviewed Itchweeed (Jeff Hardy’s jester hat-wearing alter-ego) who spoke about “yard work.” You have to see it to believe it. That’ll be a prominent theme.

– The TNA World Tag Team Champions The Broken Hardys/Benjamin/Rockstar Spud opening in-ring segment was cool. There were about 50 fans there (“at their own risk,” perhaps they were plants?), as Matt painted the stage of Cameron being shut down because of Apacalypto. The legend went that the seven deities addressed that if he couldn’t prove they were time/space’s best tag team, the deletion line would spread. Oh, no. Not that. He ended that with a hype of Maxel’s in-ring debut, which was a perfect cue for Spud. He played his typical whiny heel as he complained that the Broken Universe was “getting all his TV time” and that Maxel “was more over than he was and he didn’t even wrestle a match yet.” Funny insider stuff. When you think about it, Spud was the perfect fall guy for Maxel to beat. Matt made the match official and no disqualifications.

– The No Disqualification match between Maxel and Spud was short, yet terrific. Maxel had a grand entrance with a Mercedes Benz convertible and even had help when Benjamin tazed Spud from behind. Maxel pinned Spud to a huge pop and his first win. Yup, Spud can’t even beat a baby these days. That poor guy. Still awesome though.

– The second news report segment involved The Helms Dynasty, as they drove past the barrier signs that prevented cars from coming in to Cameron. There was a clever Hurricane reference since Gregory Shane Helms did the talking. He even told the reporter to “stand back because he was coming through.” Wowzers.

– The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express/Matt cutscene told us all we needed to know. The legends came to prove they were the best in Apacalypto and we knew this would be memorable.

– The third news report segment was uneventful, as the studio newscaster told us his excitement. Can’t blame him.

– The TNA Knockouts Championship #1 Contender’s match between Sienna and ODB was a pleasant surprise for the Cameron crowd, as this was set up Sienna’s open challenge (with some insults towards TNA Knockouts Champion Rosemary) as she called herself #1 Contender and wanted to defend the honor. That didn’t come without an appearance from Vanguard 1, who answered at first. The Referee didn’t allow it, which opened the stage for ODB. That’s two straight shows with ODB on it after a long absence. Go figure. An entertaining start as ODB broke out her signature bronco buster and Lou Thesz press spots. In a possible ode to past TNA overbooking, we got a ref bump as Sienna collided with him in the corner. Sienna pursued a chair, but ODB punched the chair into her face. No Referee to count on ODB’s pinfall, as Vanguard 1 came out to make it. The Ref stopped him at two, which allowed Sienna to hit her from behind with the chair, a Silencer and got the three-count. A dirty win indeed. Speaking of which, ODB gave us a first-person view of her cleavage, as she pushed Vanguard 1 into them. Oh yes. What hasn’t been done yet?

– The Helms Dynasty/Matt cutscene called for THD’s invitation to Apocalypto. Matt had a “pree-muh-nee-shun” that there’d be an appalling sight associated with the Lake Of Reincarnation. Oh, you just wait.

– The Itchweeed-Chet Sterling match served as Itchweeed’s in-ring debut, as he fought with a wallet chain. The main highlights involved falling asleep whilst delivering a sleeper and an elbow drop off the apron to put Sterling through a table outside. His finisher was a “Pesticide Elbow.” Don’t question it. They even had cute little Itchweeed replay transitions, complete with a “Woo hoo!” for your audial pleasure. Post-match, he carved up Sterling’s attire with his weed whacker. Well, that was something.

– The TNA World Heavyweight Championship match between Lashley and Champion Eddie Edwards was a unique addition. Where we last left off, Edwards’ last defense was shrouded in controversy as Ethan Carter III made him tap as he had him pinned. We also wondered what Lashley did to earn this shot when EC3 had to go through so much to get there, but no complaints. Lashley/Edwards have great matches, plus this environment would be interactive. The crowd strongly booed Lashley, which allowed him to use it. They even held him down for Edwards to deliver chops. It was reported those fans signed waivers before the show, which we wondered if it was true. Leave it for 50 people to be louder than 500 ironically. Edwards avoided a first spear attempt. Crazy spot where Lashley literally powerbombed Edwards into the crowd and collapsed everyone in a heap. As the action peaked, Lashley speared Edwards through the back door. Insane. They went outside the building and then it was decided that Apacalypto couldn’t wait. This never actually concluded, so we’ll assume a no-contest until we’re back in the Impact Zone.

– The Tag Team Apocalypto match between The Broken Hardys, Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, Crazzy Steve/Abyss, The Helms Dynasty, The Bravado Brothers, Spud/Swoggle, The DCC, The Ugly Ducklings, The Bruiserweights, Showtime and Mecha Mercenary/Aaron Biggs might’ve been 2016’s craziest thing, yet so epic. It was almost a culmination of everything we’d seen in The Final Deletion (fireworks), Treat Or Delete/Delete Or Decay (shovels, tombstone warfare, fiery Hardy symbol lawns) and The Great War (general wackiness and “hardcore”-esque brawling), yet with its own story. To fit the scene, they had smoke fill the compound and a PA announcement for the public to evacuate. Naturally, as everyone left in a gasping mess, the wrestlers fought through it. It was like the Raw 1997 intro come to life. The match’s rules were that all teams involved would fight until there was one left and all eliminations would be by pinfall or submission. Matt bashed Trevor Lee’s head on his pickup truck roof and yelled, “Delete!” as he did it. They had Abyss/Steve “bury” indie tag teams whom waited outside the gates to be let in. The THD-Hardys brawl went on the side of a freeway, in front of a convenience store, even a railroad crossing. Spud hyped up his partner’s arrival against Steve/Abyss (wasn’t he previously aligned with them?) and it turned out to be Swoggle. That was actually cool. Matt’s Lake Of Reincarnation premonition turned out to be a 3-Count revival, as Helms sang (in his WCW look) and danced along with Lee/Everett, as they assumed the old roles. Hilariously, they superkicked Helms into the river when he complained. Another memorable highlight was the Hardys-RnRE bout, that took place in the outside ring. Jeff-Morton fought on separate cranes above the ring, while Matt-Gibson brawled underneath them. That’s a sentence we never thought we’d type. Jeff missed a Swanton off the crane on Gibson, but Matt pinned him with a Twist Of Fate. The “joke” was that Morton would be left hanging in the dark, much to Animal’s amusement. Yes, that Animal. We saw Swoggle turn on Spud and “feed him” to Andrew Everett. DCC were easily eliminated at the gates when the random redneck pretended to be a member and was pinned, which pissed James Storm off. The redneck ate a Last Call. Everybody senselessly fought upon the volcano as it erupted. The Hurricane appeared of course, as he saved Matt from a Lee/Everett attacked and helped them get eliminated. Matt made a Triple H joke about “burying talent.” What won’t they do? In the outdoors ring, Abyss was struck by Matt with Janice in the stomach. Nero and Steve fought on the volcano, as Steve was TOF’d into the hole, which exploded him into the ring, where Matt pinned him to save the universe. As the Hardys celebrated, Reby revealed she was pregnant. Oh, snap. This was like a crazy movie. Freaking epic. No words could describe it. Everything we imagined it could be and more. We suppose an appearance by ROH World Tag Team Champions The Young Bucks would’ve brought it full-circle based off what happened at Final Battle, but that probably means the Hardys will come to ROH to settle business.

 

 

 

 

 

Quick Results

  • No Disqualification – King Maxel (w/Reby) def. Rockstar Spud via pinfall 
  • TNA Knockouts Championship #1 Contender’s Match – Sienna def. ODB via pinfall 
  • Itchweeed def. Chet Sterling via pinfall 
  • TNA World Heavyweight Championship – Eddie Edwards (Champion) and Lashley to a no-contest 
  • If The Broken Hardys Don’t Win, The Land Of Deletion Collapses – Tag Team Apocalypto – The Broken Hardys def. Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee (w/Gregory Shane Helms), The Rock N’Roll Express, Crazzy Steve/Abyss, Rockstar Spud/Swoggle, The Bravado Brothers, The DCC, The Ugly Ducklings, The Bruiserweights, Showtime and Mecha Mercenary/Aaron Biggs 
Advertisements

About Nicholas Jason Lopez

Just a 25 year-old Brooklynite. Nothing more, nothing less. Currently Freelancing for The Bensonhurst Bean website in Brooklyn, he has also been published on sites such as Review Fix, College University of New York Athletic Conference, Dying Scene, Brooklyn News Service, All Media NY, BrooklynFans.com and Yahoo Voices. He has also interned for The Home Reporter/Brooklyn Spectator based out of Brooklyn, NY.

Posted on February 27, 2017, in TNA and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: